TUCSON, AZ—In a move that has earned praise from women’s rights advocates, local business Leiderman Insurance reportedly unveiled a dedicated space Friday for lactating mothers to discreetly pump iron in the office. “It’s essential that employers provide a private, functional weight room where new mothers can comfortably pump iron at work when the need to […]

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The Trump administration claimed that taking acetaminophen during pregnancy might increase autism risk, advising against the common over-the-counter drug despite its use by a majority of pregnant women. What do you think?

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WASHINGTON—Marveling at the childlike innocence and naïveté on display from their first-term colleague, members of the U.S. House of Representatives confirmed Wednesday that freshman congressman Gabe Evans of Colorado was being adorably discreet with his corruption. “Aw, look, look! He’s going into the parking garage, trying to look all sneaky—what a sweetie pie,” said Florida […]

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WASHINGTON—Establishing new federal guidelines for disease prevention as he moves to restrict public access to a number of vaccines, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. launched a campaign to promote natural immunity Tuesday by inviting Americans to touch his festering sore. “Endless vaccines are no longer necessary to achieve immunity now that […]

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WASHINGTON—Cracking their knuckles and demanding they receive a “papology [sic], or else,” Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly yelled, “You think you can talk about our dad that way?” Wednesday before beating their TV with a baseball bat. “Hey Eric, this TV thinks it can say a bunch of real bad stuff about Dad and […]

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