LOS ANGELES—After 15 years of promoting the A24 film The Moment, actress Charlotte Aitchison told reporters Friday she was relieved to shed the character Charli XCX. “Playing Charli has been an actor’s dream,” said Aitchison, the 33-year-old thespian, who reportedly beat out a slew of stars for the competitive role of the fictional pop star, including Margaret […]

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HYDE PARK, NY—Stifling their groans as an instructor distributed the wailing infants, students at the Culinary Institute of America were reportedly given a live baby Friday to learn how to care for a bag of flour. “Flour is the most delicate of the pantry staples, and looking after this child for the week will prepare […]

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Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) was rushed by a man during a town hall and sprayed with what was revealed to be apple cider vinegar from a syringe, the attack coming amid a broad surge in violence against lawmakers. What do you think?

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WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States, who clasped Minaj’s hand and looked her in the eye as he urged her to enlighten him […]

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