The post Strait of Hormones appeared first on The Onion.

PASADENA, CA—In what many have hailed as a groundbreaking discovery in the field of genetics, scientists at the California Institute of Technology published a study Thursday revealing that up to 93% of American baby boomers were fathered by a single virile milkman. “Our extensive DNA analysis shows that one hyper-fertile dairy deliveryman going about his […]

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Ryan Gosling stars in Project Hail Mary, an adaptation of the popular sci-fi novel by Andy Weir. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film.  Q: Who does Ryan Gosling play? A: Ryland Grace, an eighth grade science teacher somehow still determined to save humanity despite having spent decades surrounded by middle […]

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WASHINGTON—Hailing the Midwestern school as one of the best places to pursue and then abandon an undergraduate education, U.S. News & World Report announced Thursday that it had selected the University of Toledo as the best college to attend for a semester before dropping out to do hair for a living. “For students who take […]

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