Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Stephen King Most Banned Author In U.S. Schools

According to a new report, Stephen King is now the author most likely to be censored by U.S. schools, with The Shining, Christine, The Stand, and On Writing among the 87 of his titles removed from shelves. What do you think?

The post Stephen King Most Banned Author In U.S. Schools appeared first on The Onion.

Starbucks Awarded $5 Billion Contract To Explore Military Applications Of Cold Foam

ARLINGTON, VA—The U.S. Defense Department confirmed Monday that Starbucks had been awarded a $5 billion contract to explore potential national security applications of cold foam, part of the military’s ongoing effort to modernize its lactose-based defense capabilities.  According to officials, the Seattle-based company will oversee the prototype of a tactical frothed milk topping for use […]

The post Starbucks Awarded $5 Billion Contract To Explore Military Applications Of Cold Foam appeared first on The Onion.

Meth Lab Straightened Up Ahead Of Landlord’s Visit

MESA, AZ—As he hastily hung a framed picture over some unsightly bullet holes in the wall, local man Clyde Walker told reporters Monday that he was straightening up his meth lab ahead of an anticipated visit from his landlord. “Just doing a bit of cleaning to get the meth kitchen spick-and-span before Gary comes by,” Walker […]

The post Meth Lab Straightened Up Ahead Of Landlord’s Visit appeared first on The Onion.

Wouldst This Suit M’Lord?

Tis a humble and rudely constructed domicile, true, but ’tis warm and dry, and there be space enough to lay your head on some flax and pass an evening’s time. Reference #35615

The post Wouldst This Suit M’Lord? appeared first on The Onion.

Breach Party

The post Breach Party appeared first on The Onion.