So-called “pink cocaine,” a hazardous polydrug that can contain ketamine, ecstasy, meth, and sometimes fentanyl, is increasingly being found in U.S. nightclubs among users unaware of its dangerous contents. What do you think?

The post Pink Cocaine Spreading In U.S. appeared first on The Onion.

SAN FRANCISCO—In a jarring departure from his usual brash, confrontational on-court behavior, Golden State Warriors forward Draymond Green reportedly returned from halftime of Thursday night’s game against the Knicks eerily calm, sporting a large scar on his forehead. “Angry noise gone from Draymond head…Draymond good boy now,” said Green, who sat on the bench petting […]

The post Eerily Calm Draymond Green Returns From Halftime With Large Scar On Forehead appeared first on The Onion.

Medical drama The Pitt, which won five Emmys and two Golden Globes in its first season, is back for season two. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Do I need to watch season one first? A: No, you can get the gist of it by shooting yourself in the […]

The post What To Know About Season 2 Of ‘The Pitt’ appeared first on The Onion.

The bride and groom tied the knot this year, 2025, but you wouldn’t know it considering she walked down the aisle to a fucking Lumineers song.

The post Rosemarie Sheppard and Martin Lang appeared first on The Onion.

MONROE, MI—Citing its ongoing mission to provide customers with the pinnacle of comfort and relaxation, upholstered furniture mainstay La-Z-Boy announced Friday that its latest line of Jasper Rocking Recliners would feature fully adjustable morphine drips. “There’s no better way to relax than with our luxurious recliners and a steady stream of opioids flowing right into your […]

The post La-Z-Boy Introduces Adjustable Morphine Drip appeared first on The Onion.