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WASHINGTON—Determined to help their father bring down high prices by single-handedly boosting the nation’s fuel supply, a dirt-covered Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. reportedly attempted Friday to siphon gasoline from the ground. “I’m gonna slurp some gas out of this hole, and then while I’m spitting the gas into the bucket, you slurp up […]

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The post Youth Hockey Banquet Spent Convincing Heavyset Teammate To Eat Copious Amounts Of Butter Squares appeared first on The Onion.

Gas prices are soaring, with the price of crude oil rising above $119 per barrel at one point Thursday. The Onion shares tips for saving money at the pump. Remove unnecessary weight from your vehicle, such as airbags, doors, and bumpers. Driving in reverse uses less gas, probably. Limit braking to weekends. Make a tank […]

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