WATERBURY, VT—Not wanting to squander the precious opportunity, local television viewer Amy Branson told reporters Tuesday that she was worried she was not living a 90-second ad break to the fullest. “There are so many drinks in the fridge and snacks in the pantry, and yet here I am just sitting on the sofa,” the […]

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Rapper Nicki Minaj has aligned herself with MAGA, stating that she is President Trump’s “number one fan.” The Onion sat down with the artist to discuss music, politics, and the controversy she’s created. The Onion : During President Trump’s first term, you criticized his administration’s policy of separating families at the border. What changed? Minaj: My […]

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The post Luge Gold Medalist Probably Main Luge Guy Now appeared first on The Onion.

 Gray walls, gray floors, gray ceilings, gray fixtures, gray appliances, gray home inspector, gray Realtor, gray real estate lawyer, gray grass, gray life, gray Earth, gray eternity. $1,300,000. Reference #44439

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Robert Donahue, 58, died suddenly while crawling through the woods in his deer costume.

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