LEAWOOD, KS—Struggling to contain his shock and amazement Friday when he recognized a familiar face on TV, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly yelled to his fiancée, Taylor Swift, “Yo! Taylor! Have you seen this shit?” after happening upon a Lena Dunham sex scene for the first time. “You gotta see this. This […]

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TrumpRx has officially launched. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new government website.  Q: What is TrumpRx? A: A strange line item you’ll see pop up on your credit card bill 15 times in a row. Q: What kinds of prescriptions can I get through TrumpRx? A: TrumpRx offers low-cost access […]

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The bride (tacky) and groom (cheapskate) had a fucking cash bar at their reception.

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