WASHINGTON—In a provocative 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled Monday that everyone’s a damn critic these days. “It is this court’s opinion that apparently everyone has their own ideas about how this court should operate and is not shy about sharing their views—even when no one asks,” Chief Justice John Roberts wrote in his 10-page […]

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North Korea is opening a beach resort that its leader Kim Jong-Un hopes will boost tourism in the secretive communist regime. What do you think?

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CAMBRIDGE, MA—Taking a deep breath and straightening his back, Yo-Yo Ma finally worked up the courage to tell his parents that he was quitting cello, sources confirmed Friday. “Mom, Dad, this is it—I quit,” said Ma, who exhaled and then winced as his parents immediately reacted to the consequential words by simultaneously exclaiming “But you […]

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GENEVA—Saying frost-covered courts heralded a new direction for the sport, officials from the Geneva Open defended Monday their decision to hold a tennis tournament on ice. “The state-of-the-art ice courts at the Tennis Club de Genève will allow for more strategic play as athletes try to avoid slipping and falling while serving, returning, or even just […]

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MADISON, WI—Warning that each new iteration of dummy seems to be more witless than the last, a team of scientists at the University of Wisconsin stated Monday that they were no closer to uncovering where their friend Lisa Pullman finds these bozos. “Despite years of extensive research, we still lack even a rudimentary understanding of […]

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