MEDFORD, MA—Charting a steep downturn in the number of young adults living independently, a study published Wednesday by Tufts University researchers found that Gen Z adults were moving back home for better access to Triscuits. “Our data shows that Americans in their 20s are increasingly going back to live with their parents due to the […]

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ST. LOUIS—In an effort to meet the urgent needs of a country in the throes of a dire humanitarian crisis, sporting goods manufacturer Rawlings announced Wednesday that it had donated 50,000 baseball gloves to the Ukrainian war effort. “We knew we had to step up and do something for those whose lives have been upended […]

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The post Squirrel Unaware He Embroiled In Months-Long Feud With Homeowner appeared first on The Onion.

CANNES, FRANCE—Glancing over their shoulders to make sure no one was watching them leave, the Cannes Film Festival jury reportedly sneaked off Tuesday to watch Mortal Kombat II. “Come on, no one’s looking, just go,” said actor Stellan Skarsgård, who ushered the rest of the jury members through an emergency exit door and down a […]

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FORT WAYNE, IN—In a potent reminder of the inescapably transitory nature of all that is or ever will be, reports confirmed Tuesday that the sweaty ass print left on a rowing machine at a local Crunch Fitness location was already fading away, much like all of our earthly works and aspirations. According to gym sources, […]

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