MOUNT POCONO, PA—Delivering a highly anticipated speech about the state of the economy, President Donald Trump doubled down this week on his claim that groceries were a hoax perpetrated by Democrats. “They have this new word, they’re calling it ‘groceries,’ but you can ask anybody—everybody knows food comes from restaurants,” said Trump, who claimed that […]

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Girl group Katseye is nominated for two awards at the 2026 Grammys, including Best New Artist. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the group. Genre: Popular girl’s bat mitzvah Number Of Members: Four full-time and two who don’t know they’re part-time Biggest Hit: “She’ll Be Coming ’Round The Mountain” Fandom Name: Consumers […]

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NEW HAVEN, CT—Shedding new light on a previously undocumented effect of loneliness, a team of psychologists at Yale University found that at least 80% of Americans lack the social connections necessary to pull off a heist. “When it comes to putting together a crew with the skills needed for a bank job or a jewel […]

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Grey’s Anatomy first premiered on March 27, 2005. In honor of 20 years on the air and the series’ upcoming 22nd season, The Onion looks back on some of the medical drama’s best and worst episodes of all time. Best: “Patrick Dempsey Lists the Major Symptoms of Strep Throat”  (Season 2, Episode 11) To this […]

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