LAS VEGAS—His body trembling as he gripped the support bar for dear life, rock climber Alex Honnold reportedly had a panic attack this week at the top of a step ladder. “Sometimes, when you get all the way up there and you’re a foot—nearly a foot and a half—off the ground, you start to lose […]

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MEDFORD, MA—Charting a steep downturn in the number of young adults living independently, a study published Wednesday by Tufts University researchers found that Gen Z adults were moving back home for better access to Triscuits. “Our data shows that Americans in their 20s are increasingly going back to live with their parents due to the […]

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CANNES, FRANCE—Glancing over their shoulders to make sure no one was watching them leave, the Cannes Film Festival jury reportedly sneaked off Tuesday to watch Mortal Kombat II. “Come on, no one’s looking, just go,” said actor Stellan Skarsgård, who ushered the rest of the jury members through an emergency exit door and down a […]

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FORT WAYNE, IN—In a potent reminder of the inescapably transitory nature of all that is or ever will be, reports confirmed Tuesday that the sweaty ass print left on a rowing machine at a local Crunch Fitness location was already fading away, much like all of our earthly works and aspirations. According to gym sources, […]

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