LOS ANGELES—Flashing her freshly manicured nails in a show of dominance, Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills cast member Kyle Richards was seen Thursday circling menacingly around the table where The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives ’ California spinoff was filming. “I don’t care what you Mormon wives get up to in Utah, but California is mine, […]

The post Kyle Richards Menacingly Circles ‘Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives’ Spinoff Shoot appeared first on The Onion.

Since the U.S. and Israel attacked Iran on Feb. 28, hostilities have escalated into naval blockades and threats from both sides that could spark a wider war. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the conflict. 10-20 Synonyms for “boondoggle” journalists aren’t allowed to use 8.6 million Schoolchildren remaining in Iranian stockpiles 19-ish […]

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WASHINGTON—Stressing that they couldn’t get enough of the bland icy husks that crumble apart in their mouths, the American people reportedly begged frozen fruit companies this week to keep the giant flavorless blackberries coming. “If you can keep making bags of ice-caked blackberries with no taste whatsoever, we’ll take everything you got,” said Nevada resident […]

The post Nation Begs Frozen Fruit Companies To Keep The Giant Flavorless Blackberries Coming  appeared first on The Onion.

Well, well, well, it looks like that slick, glad-handing schmooze machine Bobby Hanlon, 45, couldn’t charm his way out of this one (leukemia).

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The post Squirrel Unaware He Embroiled In Months-Long Feud With Homeowner appeared first on The Onion.