Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural

MINNEAPOLIS—Bleeding profusely as he radioed for backup against the uncooperative crowd, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Ken Fischer was reportedly injured Tuesday after making repeated attempts to detain the people in a neighborhood mural. “I’ve got a couple dozen hostile and extremely large individuals impeding an officer—I need as many agents as you can send […]

The post ICE Agent Injured After Repeatedly Trying To Detain People In Neighborhood Mural appeared first on The Onion.

Academy Museum Acquires Original Disney Adult

LOS ANGELES—Unveiling the procurement at the opening of the new exhibition Fanaticals: Cinema’s Most Fearsome Freaks, the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures announced this week that it had acquired the original Disney adult.  “We are thrilled to confirm that self-professed ‘Disnerd’ Rick Tomko is now a part of our permanent collection,” said Academy Museum spokesperson […]

The post Academy Museum Acquires Original Disney Adult appeared first on The Onion.

Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega

Ortega was married off to Lazarus in a peacekeeping deal aimed at easing tensions between Indianapolis and Cincinnati.

The post Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega appeared first on The Onion.

Best Get-Laid Plan

The post Best Get-Laid Plan appeared first on The Onion.

Ayatollah Killed In U.S. Airstrike

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the theocratic dictator who ruled Iran for over 36 years, was killed in a massive U.S. and Israeli military operation, with the Iranian government announcing 40 days of public mourning following the death of the 86-year-old leader. What do you think?

The post Ayatollah Killed In U.S. Airstrike appeared first on The Onion.