Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Red House

Four-window square house complete with chimney smoke, two stick parents, and a large sun. Reference #84067

The post Red House appeared first on The Onion.

Dwayne Johnson Intrigued After Learning About Special Trophy For Good Actors

LOS ANGELES—Leaning forward in his seat as a number of questions raced through his mind, Dwayne Johnson was reportedly intrigued Monday after learning there was a special trophy for good actors. “Huh, interesting—and you said they give them out every year?” asked Johnson, who frowned as he racked his brain in an attempt to recall if […]

The post Dwayne Johnson Intrigued After Learning About Special Trophy For Good Actors appeared first on The Onion.

Mary Hill and Becca Cox

The couple wed Saturday after realizing they could not, in fact, get the venue and vendor deposits back.

The post Mary Hill and Becca Cox appeared first on The Onion.

Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough Fruit

CHICAGO—Calling attention to the startling lack of tied-up cherry stems in the average diet, health experts from the American Medical Association warned Tuesday that Americans were not sensually eating enough fruit. “While it’s recommended that adults erotically suck on at least two pieces of fruit daily, many people are falling far short of that,” said Dr. […]

The post Health Experts Warn Americans Not Sensually Eating Enough Fruit appeared first on The Onion.

Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene Rating

Ynyshir, a Welsh restaurant with two Michelin stars, has been given a one star hygiene rating by food standards inspectors, with the chef responding to the score by claiming he has “the highest standards in the world.” What do you think?

The post Two-Star Michelin Restaurant Given One-Star Hygiene Rating appeared first on The Onion.