Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon

A Kentucky mom is speaking out after her 8-year-old son unknowingly ordered 30 boxes of Dum-Dums lollipops on Amazon, racking up a $4,200 charge. What do you think?

The post 2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon appeared first on The Onion.

Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope

The post Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope appeared first on The Onion.

God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle

THE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty told reporters this week He had lost $400 betting on Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle to become pope. “Oh, son of a bitch, that pretty much cleans out My savings,” said the visibly frustrated deity, groaning that He […]

The post God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle appeared first on The Onion.

Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’

The post Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’ appeared first on The Onion.

Nervous Man Introduces Date To His Hives

TORONTO—Admitting that he had butterflies in anticipation, local man Greg Fitzsimmons reported feeling nervous Friday before introducing his date to his hives for the first time. “They can get irritated pretty easily, so I really hope everybody gets along,” said the 33-year-old, confessing that it had been quite some time since he had brought a […]

The post Nervous Man Introduces Date To His Hives appeared first on The Onion.