Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Met Gala Ends Abruptly After Anna Wintour’s Parents Get Home Early

NEW YORK—In a chaotic scene that sent rising stars, supermodels, and A-list actors scattering, the Met Gala ended abruptly Monday night after Anna Wintour’s parents reportedly got home early. According to sources, the sight of the Met Gala co-chair’s parents pulling into the Metropolitan Museum of Art driveway caused considerable alarm and distress among the […]

The post Met Gala Ends Abruptly After Anna Wintour’s Parents Get Home Early appeared first on The Onion.

Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground

DANIA BEACH, FL—Reversing its company-wide shutdown after the sudden influx of capital, Spirit Airlines resumed business Monday after its CEO Dave Davis reportedly found a nickel on the ground. “This incredible new funding source will allow Spirit to continue operating for years, even decades,” said Davis, noting that the serendipitous surge in resources would give […]

The post Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground appeared first on The Onion.

Doctors Confirm Rudy Giuliani In Liquid But Stable Condition

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Emerging from the procedure after hours of touch-and-go treatment, doctors attending to Rudy Giuliani said Monday that the former New York City mayor was now in liquid but stable condition. “We’re relieved to report that, aside from some minor ripples and dribbling, the mayor is currently in a safe fluid state,” said […]

The post Doctors Confirm Rudy Giuliani In Liquid But Stable Condition appeared first on The Onion.

City Renames Street To Honor Charlie Kirk

The city of Westminster, CA redesignated a street from “All American Way” to “Charlie Kirk Way,” with the mayor claiming the change isn’t political. What do you think?

The post City Renames Street To Honor Charlie Kirk appeared first on The Onion.

RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

The post RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant appeared first on The Onion.