A new study found that about one in five urinary tract infections can be traced to E. coli-contaminated meat. What do you think?

The post Study: 20% Of Urinary Tract Infections Caused By Contaminated Meat appeared first on The Onion.

The post Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’ appeared first on The Onion.

CHICAGO—His heart racing with terror as he found himself completely surrounded, an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent conducting a raid on a Chicago elementary school reportedly fell into panic Monday when he realized there were more children on the playground than he could subdue with flash-bang grenades. “Oh God, send for backup—there’s, like, 30 under […]

The post ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs appeared first on The Onion.

The post Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago appeared first on The Onion.

Eighty-year-old Betty Kellenberger, without realizing it, became the oldest person to complete the Appalachian Trail, pushing through injuries and weather challenges to finish the full 2,197-mile hike. What do you think?

The post 80-Year-Old Becomes Oldest Woman To Hike Appalachian Trail appeared first on The Onion.