Intel's been talking the talk for months about its new generation of laptop chips, the first made on its long-anticipated 18A process. 18A is meant to steer Intel back toward bluer waters by making its chips better, and, if possible, attracting chip designers like Qualcomm and Nvidia to use Intel's foundries, not just its rival […]

When Marvel first announced that Avengers: Doomsday would be directed by the Russo Brothers and star Robert Downey Jr. as Doctor Doom, it seemed like the studio might be using the feature as a massive nostalgia play. Though the film will feature a number of characters from more recent projects like Thunderbolts* and The Fantastic […]

The most helpful thing you can add to any laptop for productivity is a second screen. That's why I love laptops like the Asus Zenbook Duo. Its twin 14-inch OLED displays are attached by a redesigned hinge that now holds them closer together and on a single plane, for a more seamless look than previous […]

OVERLAND PARK, KS—Expressing frustration that his efforts to be accommodating continue to go unappreciated, area man Thomas Kemps confirmed Monday that nothing is ever good enough for the woman he has been holding captive in his basement for the past 39 days. “I give and I give, and what do I get in return? Not a single genuine thank-you,” […]

The post Nothing Ever Good Enough For Captive appeared first on The Onion.

BURBANK, CA—Encouraging the child to explore the conglomerate’s vast catalog of characters and copyrights, Disney executive John Ervin reminded his 2-year-old daughter on Monday that only artwork featuring the company’s intellectual property was permitted on the fridge. “That’s very creative, Edie, but unfortunately it has no existing fan base,” said the 49-year-old Ervin, who handed […]

The post Disney Exec Reminds Toddler Only IP Goes On Fridge appeared first on The Onion.