If you have $400 and want an iPad, your options are usually kind of limited to either just the base iPad, or better yet, the latest iPad Mini — if it happens to be on sale when you’re shopping (it is now, but that’s not always the case). But right now, you should consider getting […]

UNIVERSITY PARK, PA—Shedding light on the age-old mystery of how anyone could afford the gigantic structures, a study published Thursday in the Journal Of Eastern Mediterranean Archaeology And Heritage Studies revealed that ancient Egyptians received significant help from their parents while building the pyramids. “Though historians initially theorized that the civilization constructed the towering tombs […]

The post New Research Reveals Ancient Egyptians Received Significant Help From Parents While Building Pyramids appeared first on The Onion.

NAPERVILLE, IL—Scurrying into the alley as employees chased her with a broom, Aldi CEO Atty McGrath reportedly had to be shooed away Tuesday after she was seen rummaging through the dumpsters behind a local Whole Foods. “We keep finding her rooting around our bins looking for food items she can stock her shelves with,” said […]

The post Aldi CEO Chased Off From Whole Foods Dumpsters  appeared first on The Onion.

Jack Schlossberg, who is best known for his provocative social media presence and for being the grandson of John F. Kennedy, announced a run for U.S. Congress. Here’s everything you need to know about the Democrat. Core Belief: Americans are sicker of gerontocracy than nepotism Reason For Running: Bored Dream Job: MrBeast Role In Fraternity: […]

The post Political Profile: Jack Schlossberg appeared first on The Onion.

Paayal Zaveri / Bloomberg:
Imprint, which helps retailers like Brooks Brothers offer co-branded credit cards and manage loyalty programs, raised $150M led by Khosla at a $1.2B valuation  —  Fintech startup Imprint Payments Inc., which helps retailers like Brooks Brothers offer co-branded credit cards …