Google has agreed to purchase electricity from a forthcoming nuclear fusion power plant, the so-called holy grail of clean energy that scientists have been chasing for more than half a century.  While the fusion industry reached a significant milestone a few years ago, the technology has yet to prove whether it can be a technically […]

MADISON, WI—Warning that each new iteration of dummy seems to be more witless than the last, a team of scientists at the University of Wisconsin stated Monday that they were no closer to uncovering where their friend Lisa Pullman finds these bozos. “Despite years of extensive research, we still lack even a rudimentary understanding of […]

The post Scientists No Closer To Uncovering Where Friend Finds These Bozos appeared first on The Onion.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Taking a deep breath and straightening his back, Yo-Yo Ma finally worked up the courage to tell his parents that he was quitting cello, sources confirmed Friday. “Mom, Dad, this is it—I quit,” said Ma, who exhaled and then winced as his parents immediately reacted to the consequential words by simultaneously exclaiming “But you […]

The post Yo-Yo Ma Finally Works Up Courage To Tell Parents He Quitting Cello appeared first on The Onion.

Following the success of 2015’s The Martian, Amazon MGM Studios has released the first trailer for Project Hail Mary based on another best-selling Andy Weir novel. The film features Ryan Gosling, who’s entering his sci-fi era after being cast in Star Wars: Starfighter, as science teacher-turned-astronaut Ryland Grace who wakes up on a spaceship with […]

Matt Day / Bloomberg:
Source: Nintendo pulled its products from Amazon's US site after noticing third-party merchants were selling games in the US at prices below Nintendo's rates  —  The Japanese company stopped selling on Amazon after noticing that third-party merchants were offering games for sale in the US …