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God Informs Humanity Choking People Meant To Die from The Onion RSS feed.

God Informs Humanity Choking People Meant To Die

THE HEAVENS—Warning His subjects that they should not mess with His carefully laid plans by playing hero, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, reportedly informed humanity Monday that choking people were meant to die. “I created all things—do you really think I would fuck up and make human throats clog on accident? This is divine […]

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