LOS ANGELES—Confirming that doctors had performed the procedure successfully, sources reported Friday that Sabrina Carpenter had undergone a state-mandated lobotomy to cure her medically diagnosed nymphomania. According to eyewitnesses, the 26-year-old artist arrived at a state mental hospital early this morning strapped to a gurney so that she could not act on her depraved sexual […]

The post Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania appeared first on The Onion.