CLEVELAND—Bemoaning the exhausting pattern into which his existence seemed to have fallen, local man Matthew Taylor told reporters Wednesday that he felt like his whole life was just an endless cycle of working, eating, sleeping, getting abducted by aliens, and then going to work again. “Pretty much every day I roll out of bed, eat […]

The post Man Feels Like Whole Life Just Endless Cycle Of Work, Eat, Sleep, Get Abducted By Aliens appeared first on The Onion.