GREEN BAY, WI—In a comprehensive and thorough effort to ensure that nothing bad had happened, the aliveness of infant Liam Graham was reportedly quintuple-checked Tuesday before texting the new parents congratulations. “I was about to pop off a quick text telling Amelia and Mike how happy I was for them, but then this wave of […]

The post Aliveness Of Baby Quintuple-Checked Before Texting New Parents Congratulations appeared first on The Onion.