MOUNT CLEMENS, MI—With guests congratulating him and his family as his mind drifted back from the very beginnings of ancient organic matter becoming trapped beneath the Earth’s surface, local dad Brendan Canfield reportedly spent his daughter Ellie’s wedding Friday thinking about the history of oil. According to sources, the father walked the bride down the […]

The post Dad Spends Daughter’s Wedding Day Thinking About History Of Oil appeared first on The Onion.