PHILADELPHIA—Looking dead-eyed into the distance as it slowly dawned on him what he had done, a visibly distraught Jalen Carter reportedly fled the Eagles Super Bowl celebration Friday after commandeering a parade float. “Oh, goddamn it, move, move!” said the panicked 23-year-old defensive tackle, who frantically slammed his foot on the vehicle’s gas pedal and […]

The post Jalen Carter Flees Scene In Parade Float appeared first on The Onion.