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God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside from The Onion RSS feed.

God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside

THE HEAVENS—Groaning to Himself as the professionally dressed evangelists rounded the corner, the Lord God Almighty reportedly locked the gates of heaven Tuesday after spotting Mormon missionaries milling around outside. “Maybe if we turn off all the lights and pretend no one’s here we can get rid of them,” said the Creator of the Universe, […]

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