Reading List

Area Loser Declared Patient Zero In Loneliness Epidemic from The Onion RSS feed.

Area Loser Declared Patient Zero In Loneliness Epidemic

WASHINGTON—Citing the results of an exhaustive five-year inquiry into the source of the outbreak of social isolation currently plaguing the United States, the Department of Health and Human Services declared Wednesday that Dayton, OH–area loser Bill McCraw was patient zero in the national loneliness epidemic. “Through extensive contact tracing, we’ve confirmed the epidemic of loneliness that […]

The post Area Loser Declared Patient Zero In Loneliness Epidemic appeared first on The Onion.