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Every Movement In Man’s Burrito-Eating Technique Informed By Past Burrito Tragedies

GLENDALE, CA—Rotating the tortilla-wrapped meal to consume the Mexican food in even levels, eyewitnesses reported Thursday that every movement in local man Eddy Azarian’s burrito-eating technique has been informed by past burrito tragedies. “You can see how he massages the outside to get an a well-balanced distribution of ingredients as he goes, so you know […]

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