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Phone Manually Turned Off With Intensity Of Mobster Smothering Witness With Pillow from The Onion RSS feed.

Phone Manually Turned Off With Intensity Of Mobster Smothering Witness With Pillow

CINCINNATI—In an act that demonstrated a singularly cold-blooded focus, 32-year-old Andrew Thompson reportedly turned off his phone Monday with the intensity of a mobster smothering a key witness with a pillow. Sources confirmed that as Thompson grasped the iPhone, his right hand shook while pushing down its side power button as if he were struggling […]

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