Pete Hegseth Rails Against Fat Generals

The Onion

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Nicole Kidman Retires Drag King Persona ‘Keith Urban’

The Onion

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Trump Asks JD Vance To Research Whether President Allowed To Kill Vice President

The Onion

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Jane Goodall, Author Of ‘15 Amazing Monkey Facts For Kids,’ Dies At 91

The Onion

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Artist Profile: Zach Bryan

The Onion

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Mommy and Mommy’s Friend Luke

The Onion

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Lucky Fan Wins Open-Heart Surgery From Stars Of ‘The Pitt’

The Onion

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RFK Jr. Advocates Using Beef Tallow In Home Birth Tubs

The Onion

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OpenAI Introduces Parental Controls

The Onion

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Javier Bardem Declared UNESCO World-Class Hunk

The Onion

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Physical Media Collector Pumped For Downfall Of Humanity

The Onion

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Window Ajar

The Onion

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Health Department Shuts Down Guy Fieri

The Onion

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New Season Of ‘Monster’ To Focus On Barista Who Made Ryan Murphy’s Drink Wrong 

The Onion

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Gail Barnsom

The Onion

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Taliban Imposes Internet Blackout Amid Morality Crackdown

The Onion

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Seed Oils: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

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Stress-Free Eric Adams Spends Day Bribing Pigeons In Central Park

The Onion

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U.S. Generals Have Bad Feeling About Dog The Bounty Hunter Taking Stage

The Onion

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Trump Audibly Counting Non-White Generals

The Onion

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