Ex-Quarterback Mark Sanchez Charged With Felony Battery

The Onion

•   news
• satire

U.S. Military Carries Out Strike On Scuffy The Tugboat

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Baines Wright III and Carter Nowak

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Slipknot Travels To India To Begin Psychedelic, Free-Love Phase Of Career

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Tips For Making Friends As An Adult

The Onion

•   news
• satire

$1 Million In Coins Recovered From Spanish Shipwreck

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Nobel Prize In Medicine Awarded To Tums 

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Travis Kelce Gets Cold Feet After Listening To New Taylor Swift Album

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Trump Announces TrumpRx Website For Prescription Drugs

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Stephen King Most Banned Author In U.S. Schools

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Wouldst This Suit M’Lord?

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Starbucks Awarded $5 Billion Contract To Explore Military Applications Of Cold Foam

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Meth Lab Straightened Up Ahead Of Landlord’s Visit

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Netflix Now Requiring All Subscribers To Recruit 5 New Customers

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Breach Party

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Report: It Nice That Linemen Feel Comfortable Showing Off Bare Bellies

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Leonard Hendrick

The Onion

•   news
• satire

What To Know About ‘Good Boy’

The Onion

• satire
•   news

The Cost Of This Wedding Is Making Me Matri-moan-y!

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Heartbroken Man Realizes He Only Loved Idea Of Fried Egg On Burger

The Onion

• satire
•   news