Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

‘Task’ Teams Up With Wawa For New Fentanyl Brick Hoagie

The Onion

Locust Humiliated Swarm He Organized Only Got 40 Million Attendees

The Onion

Nicole Kidman Tosses ‘The Garfield Movie’ Soundtrack Onto Burn Pile

The Onion

The Onion Investigates: Jeffrey Epstein

The Onion

Tyra Banks Releases Hot Ice Cream

The Onion

What To Know About NSPM-7

The Onion

Kristi Noem: ‘Antifa Is A Highly Sophisticated Islamic Proto-State That Controlled Territory In Iraq And Syria From 2013-2019’

The Onion

Israel Agrees To Go Back To Killing Palestinians On Less Frequent Basis

The Onion

Church Of England Names First Woman Leader

The Onion

Dolly Parton Shares Video Confirming Sister A Shit-Stirring Bitch

The Onion

USDA Deactivates Nation’s Corn During Government Shutdown

The Onion

Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored

The Onion

Legal Ruling Forces God To Add Cancer Warning To Earth

The Onion

White House Doctor: Trump Has Far More Bones Than Any Prior President

The Onion

Carlie Beams and Drew Jones

The Onion

Sydney Sweeney Desperately Fishing For Pet Names To Avoid Calling Grown Man ‘Scooter’

The Onion

MacArthur ‘Genius Grant’ Awarded To Inventor Of Eatin’ Shirt

The Onion

Teammates Unnerved As Interpreter Begins Referring To Ohtani As ‘The Host’

The Onion

Not 200 Yards Away From The Dog Park

The Onion

Randy Faber

The Onion