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Persecution, Worried Conservatives, And More: This Week In Local News February 24, 2024

The Onion

Netanyahu’s Plans For The Future Of Gaza

The Onion

Yale To Begin Requiring Standardized Test Scores Again

The Onion

Alabama Supreme Court Justice Invokes ‘VeggieTales’ In Ruling

The Onion

Nikki Haley Vows To Remain In Race Until Campaign Bus Runs Out Of Gas

The Onion

This Week's Most Viral News: February 23, 2024

The Onion

Victor Wembanyama’s Head Lodged Between Rim And Backboard Again

The Onion

Christians Explain How Jesus Would Handle The Border Crisis

The Onion

Lancôme Introduces New Full-Body Moisturizing Chrysalis

The Onion

Man Trying To Make Meal From Stolen Bag Of Groceries Just Like Real-Life ‘Chopped’

The Onion

Removed Notre Dame Scaffolding Reveals Construction Crew Accidentally Built Mosque

The Onion

Study: More Americans Opting To Have Decapitated Heads Placed Under Silver Cloche After Death

The Onion

Beyoncé’s ‘Texas Hold ’Em’ Hits No. 1 On Country Charts

The Onion

New Law Requires SNAP Recipients To Balance Food On Nose Until Receiving Command To Eat It

The Onion

Alabama Supreme Court Rules Frozen Embryos Are Babies

The Onion

Do We Live In A Simulation?

The Onion

What You Need To Know About Microplastics

The Onion

Emerging Filmmaker Malia Obama Changes Surname To Scorsese

The Onion

America’s Border Crisis: A Country Divided On How Much Cruelty Migrants Deserve

The Onion

Congress Allocates $55 Billion In Infrastructure Funding To Fill Holes Angry Boyfriend Punched In Nation

The Onion