Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Elon Musk Begins Cabinet Meeting By Putting Index Finger Through Fly Of Pants

The Onion

NRA Gives Dead Schoolchildren ‘F’ Rating

The Onion

DoorDash Order Arrives In Humiliatingly Large Bag

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Deploys 3,000 U.S. Troops On Beer Run

The Onion

Woman Contaminates Grocery Store Food With Urine For Years

The Onion

Best Picture Winner ‘Kissing The Martinet’ Faces Backlash After Fans Learn Movie Not Real

The Onion

Kylie Jenner Admits She’d Like To Go On One Date That Isn’t Awards Ceremony

The Onion

Movie Theater Ceiling Collapses During ‘Captain America’ Screening

The Onion

What To Know About ‘The Pitt’

The Onion

Couple Forced To Sit Next To Dead Body On Plane For 4 Hours After Woman Dies Midflight

The Onion

Trump’s First 100 Days

The Onion

Desensitized ‘Prairie Home Companion’ Fan Seeks Out Gentler And Gentler Material

The Onion

Passengers Rush To Arriving Train’s Doors Like Rat Babies Nursing At Mother’s Teats

The Onion

Vice Precedent

The Onion

Tim Walz Calls On Fellow Democrats To Return His Tupperware

The Onion

‘The Substance’ Snags Oscar For Best Goo

The Onion

Trump Signs Executive Order Making Official Language Of U.S. Remedial English

The Onion

Artist Profile: Tate McRae

The Onion

NOAA Cuts Leave Wind Chimes As Sole Predictor Of Approaching Hurricanes

The Onion

‘Maybe Hot Dog Will Make Wife Feel Better,’ Thinks Husband No Closer To Fixing Things

The Onion