Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Catholic Church Courts Youth By Adding Badass Deity With Robotic Falcon Head

The Onion

Royal Family Criticized For Not Altering Photo Of King Charles Much More

The Onion

Kamala Harris Discovers Classified Document Revealing She’s Android Created By DNC

The Onion

This Week's Most Viral News: March 15, 2024

The Onion

Timeline Of Kate Middleton’s Disappearance

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of Referring To Immigrants As ‘Illegal’

The Onion

Kohler Unveils Powerful New Toilet Capable Of Flushing Handgun

The Onion

Fans React To Aaron Rodgers Spreading Conspiracy Theories

The Onion

Phillies To End $1 Hot Dog Days Citing Rowdy Fan Behavior

The Onion

Study Finds Sexual Satisfaction Highest Among Nerds Covered In Lipstick Marks With Glasses Askew

The Onion

Woman Arrested For Stealing $28,000 In Gas With Rewards Card

The Onion

Backpedaling Aaron Rodgers Meets With Sandy Hook Parents To Brag About How Fast Achilles Healed

The Onion

New Dispensary Promises Customers Tantalizing Taste Of The Forbidden Fruit That Is Marijuana

The Onion

Chicago Temporarily Stops Dyeing River Brown For St. Patrick’s Day

The Onion

Airbnb To Ban Indoor Security Cameras

The Onion

Owner Of Shuttered Hermit Crab Kiosk Probably Retired To Private Tropical Island

The Onion

I See You, Report Sources Looking Through Empty Paper Towel Roll

The Onion

Things Stepparents Should Never Say To Their Stepchild

The Onion

Boeing Promotes Mysterious Employee Known Only As ‘The Panther’

The Onion

Nutritionists Recommend Shaking Stomach While Yelling ‘Stop Being Hungry’

The Onion