Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Real Love, Human Wives, And More: This Week In Local News March 30, 2024

The Onion

Sam Bankman-Fried Sentenced To 25 Years In Prison

The Onion

Trump Releases ‘God Bless The USA’ Quran

The Onion

Supreme Court Justices Can Barely Hear Oral Arguments Over Upstairs Neighbor’s Loud Music

The Onion

Study Finds Most Effective Food Safety Technique Just Eating It And Seeing What Happens

The Onion

Evan Gershkovich Given Final Warning About Return-To-Office Mandate

The Onion

This Week’s Most Viral News: March 29, 2024

The Onion

Every Problem Conservatives Have Blamed On DEI

The Onion

Paris Reestablishes Waiter’s Race

The Onion

Nation’s Ex-Boyfriends Drunk As Hell

The Onion

New Childcare Bill Would Allocate Single Microwave For Kids To Cook Their Own Dinner

The Onion

Everything We Know About The Market Debut Of Trump’s Truth Social

The Onion

South Carolina Government Finds $1.8 Billion In Unaccounted Funds

The Onion

Leonardo DiCaprio Sparks Engagement Rumors As Girlfriend Flaunts New NDA

The Onion

Authorities Arrest Depraved Anglophile After Uncovering Hard Drive With 1.5 TB Of Hardcore Rory Kinnear, David Mitchell Photos

The Onion

Mark Zuckerberg’s Spouse Suspicious After He Begins Referring To Her As ‘Human Wife’

The Onion

U.S. Aid To Israel By The Numbers

The Onion

Nickelodeon Announces Dan Schneider Has Been Chemically Castrated With Slime

The Onion

Taco Bell Introduces New Burrito That Will Do Its Best To Satisfy Hunger, But There Are No Guarantees In This Crazy World

The Onion

Abandoning Wife And Kids To Visit McDonald’s In Every Foreign Country Not As Satisfying As Man Expected

The Onion