Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump’s Criminal Trial In Manhattan Begins

The Onion

Brimstone Stocks Rise After Antichrist Ushers In Age Of Eternal Misery

The Onion

Absent-Minded Man Can’t Remember Why He Slathered His Nude Body In Pork Fat And Lit Himself On Fire

The Onion

Subway Manager Shows New Hire How To Properly Soak Bread In Mop Water

The Onion

Dad Gives Knowing Nod To Family Also Dealing With Whiny Little Shit

The Onion

Doctors Explain Why You Should Never Use ‘Vulva Balms’

The Onion

Travis Kelce Impresses Coachella Crowd By Tossing Taylor Swift 50 Feet Across Grounds

The Onion

Aaron Taylor-Johnson Wondering If Buying Tuxedo More Economical In Long Run Than Renting One For Each ‘Bond’ Film

The Onion

Eric Trump Only Potential Juror Uninformed Enough To Serve At Father’s Trial

The Onion

Everything We Know About ‘Joker 2’

The Onion

Congress Quickly Passes Funding For National Night-Light After Waking Up From Scary Dream

The Onion

Yoplait Label Warns Yogurts Must Reach Internal Temperature Of 165 Degrees Before Consumption

The Onion

Campaign Tail

The Onion

3 Rescued From Deserted Island After Spelling Out ‘Help’ On Beach

The Onion

FDA Announces Their Fingers Smell Like Orange After Evaluating Some Oranges Earlier

The Onion

This Week In Breaking News April 13, 2024

The Onion

This Week In Local April 13, 2024

The Onion

Nobody In Entire Dodgers Organization Has Heart To Tell Ohtani What Going On With Interpreter

The Onion

Consumer Reports Finds Lead, High Sodium Levels In Lunchables

The Onion

Excavation Of Ancient Pompeii Kitchen Unearths Fully Intact ‘Leave The Gun, Take The Cannoli’ Tea Towel

The Onion