Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Wizard Reprimanded For Watching Porn On His Work Orb

The Onion

Perdue Announces Initiative To Even The Playing Field By Giving Chickens Guns

The Onion

Progressive Preschool Abandons Students In Woods

The Onion

A Day In The Life Of Rudy Giuliani

The Onion

Bob Menendez Repeatedly Tries To Jam Gold Bar Into Courthouse Vending Machine

The Onion

Trump Reflexively Asks Michael Cohen To Silence Michael Cohen

The Onion

Fingers Too Greasy From Salami To Open Pepperoni

The Onion

Teetotalitarianism

The Onion

Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave

The Onion

Crying Man Refuses To Take Boner Pills Unless They Strawberry Flavored

The Onion

Dead Whale Found On Bow Of Cruise Ship Entering New York

The Onion

Waterfront Sand Castle

The Onion

Nation’s Weeping Spouses Announce They Don’t Recognize The Person You’ve Become

The Onion

Barron Trump To Serve As Florida Delegate At RNC

The Onion

U.S. Files Serial Numbers Off Missiles Sent To Israel

The Onion

Bar Breathes Collective Sigh Of Relief As Drunk Guy With Obnoxious Laugh Gets Really Invested In His Phone

The Onion

Petco Announces All Human-Pig Hybrids On Clearance

The Onion

Youngest Brother’s Reputation Among Family Still Just The One Who Threw Scissors At Mom

The Onion

Olympic Torch Begins Tour Across France

The Onion

Woman Nervous About Introducing Parents To Lousy Lay

The Onion