Artist Profile: Charli XCX

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Environmentalists Warn U.S. Running Out Of Small Wooded Areas Where Buddies Can Smoke Up

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Divided Nation Comes Together To Keep Beach Ball In Air

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Simone Biles Wins Gold At Paris Olympics

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Russia Agrees To Massive Prisoner Swap With West

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Trump Questions Kamala Harris’ Race

The Onion

•   news
• satire

The Pros And Cons Of Banning Porn

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Kroger Recalls 2 Million Packs Of Lettuce They Developed Psychosexual Relationship With

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Iran Vows Retaliation For Hamas Chief Killing

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Project 2025 By The Numbers

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Theme Park Guests Trapped For Harrowing 6 Hours On Stuck Merry-Go-Round

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Female Competitive Drowner Explains Why Trans Athletes Should Not Compete In Competitive Drowning

The Onion

• satire
•   news

56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Terrified Conservative Planning To Move To 1930s Austria If Trump Loses

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Venezuelan President Claims Victory In Disputed Election

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Mom’s Fall Not Funny This Time

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Biden Calls For Major Supreme Court Changes

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Kamala Harris Rushes To Marshall’s To Buy Nicer Work Clothes

The Onion

• satire
•   news

‘Kite,’ Report 340 Million Americans Pointing At Sky

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Study Finds Exercise May Help Alzheimer’s Patients Look Hot

The Onion

• satire
•   news