Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Targeted In Second Assassination Attempt

The Onion

Migrant Steals Occupational Injury From Hard-Working American

The Onion

Injured Cyclist Briefly Regains Consciousness To See RFK Jr. Dragging Him Into Kitchen

The Onion

Actor Informed Producers Decided To Go With A Dog For The Role

The Onion

Melania Trump Announces First 1,000 People To Preorder New Memoir Will See Her Face In Their Dreams Until Death

The Onion

Man Not Really Articulating Cohesive Reason Why Guy Who Cut Him Off Should Go Fuck Himself

The Onion

Trump Assassination Suspect Buying AR-15s Nonstop While In Custody

The Onion

Report: Trump Defiantly Pumped Fist For 20 Minutes After Assassination Attempt Searching For Camera

The Onion

Trump Warns Immigrants Taking All The Good Vanity Plates

The Onion

‘Still Fresh,’ Says Crouching Pete Buttigieg Swiping Finger Across Tire Tracks On Street

The Onion

Study Finds Europeans Used Cocaine Earlier Than Once Thought

The Onion

How Trump Is Appealing To Women Voters

The Onion

Black Enrollment At Harvard Drops After Affirmative Action Barred

The Onion

Moscow Expels 6 British Diplomats Who Would Not Shut Up About ‘Doctor Who’

The Onion

Ohioan Disturbed By Reports Of Haitians Eating Vegetables

The Onion

Food Dye Used In Doritos Makes Mice’s Skin Transparent

The Onion

Ultra-Processed Foods: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

Woman With Disease Sent Article About Celebrity With Disease

The Onion

Vatican City Police Unveil New Unit Of Sin-Sniffing Dogs

The Onion

Mother Drunk Enough To Start Listing Names Of Miscarriages

The Onion