Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Kristi Noem’s Handbag Containing $3,000 Stolen From D.C. Restaurant

The Onion

RFK Jr. Flushes Nation’s Antidepressants

The Onion

Financial Experts Recommend Diversifying Portfolio With Multiple Harebrained Schemes

The Onion

Trump Opens Up Nation’s Aquariums To Commercial Fishing

The Onion

Thrift Store Categorizes Inflatable Birthing Tub As Decor

The Onion

Trump Announces Seal Team 6 Killed U.S. Protester In Daring Overnight Raid

The Onion

Pope Francis Dead At 88

The Onion

God Too Obsessed With Ants Right Now To Focus On Next Pope

The Onion

Pope Francis’ Children Ask For Privacy Following Father’s Death

The Onion

Unpopular Pete Hegseth Forced To Drink Lunch Alone

The Onion

Trump Pardons Kid Rock For Whatever Inspired Statutory Rape Lyric In ‘Cool, Daddy Cool’

The Onion

Serial Killer Could Have Sworn He Killed That Guy Already

The Onion

‘Grief Is The Price We Pay For Love,’ Reports Man Clutching Empty Package Of Salami

The Onion

Colossal Squid Caught On Camera In Deep Sea For First Time

The Onion

Cardinal Who Spent Easter Dinner Telling Pope To Ease Off The Butter Feeling Pretty Vindicated

The Onion

Pete Hegseth: ‘There Are No State Secrets In A Healthy Relationship’  

The Onion

TikTok Trend Urges Americans To Buy Directly From Chinese Manufacturers

The Onion

Solitary Consignment

The Onion

Red Sox Fans Screaming Racial Slurs Throughout Mascot Race

The Onion

Melania Trump Informs Visiting Children She Hid Many Easter Eggs Behind Curtain Of Reality

The Onion