Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

98-Year-Old Federal Judge Appeals Suspension For Mental Fitness

The Onion

Sabrina Carpenter Sends Especially Hot Concertgoer To Fuzzy Pink Electric Chair

The Onion

Job Applicant Informed Role Of Pig Boy Has Been Filled 

The Onion

God Angry After New Construction Blocks View Of Creation

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Sam Altman

The Onion

3,800 Workers Strike At Massive Meatpacking Plant

The Onion

Live Action Short Film Winner Celebrates By Taking Oscar To In-N-Out Shift

The Onion

Unemployed Man Considers Going Back To School To Become AI

The Onion

Stephen Miller Assures Susie Wiles He Has Fridge Full Of Healthy Human Breasts

The Onion

Beautiful Dream About Blowing Own Brains Out Interrupted By Work Alarm

The Onion

Jeremy Stark

The Onion

Everything Son Got At School Book Fair About Medieval Torture Again

The Onion

Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores

The Onion

FBI Agents Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Gets Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter

The Onion

Travis Kelce Bummed Fiancée Signed Him Up For NFL Again

The Onion

Trump Demands Staff Get King Of Hormuz On Line

The Onion

Kylie Jenner Gushes Over Partner Michael B. Jordan

The Onion

Trump Beefs Up Security Presence After Frighteningly Close Brush With JD Vance

The Onion

History Of St. Patrick’s Day

The Onion

How To Survive An Avalanche

The Onion