Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs
CHICAGO—His heart racing with terror as he found himself completely surrounded, an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent conducting a raid on a Chicago elementary school reportedly fell into panic Monday when he realized there were more children on the playground than he could subdue with flash-bang grenades. “Oh God, send for backup—there’s, like, 30 under […]
The post ICE Agent Panics After Realizing There More Children Than He Has Flash-Bangs appeared first on The Onion.
Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago
The post Twirling Britney Spears Unaware Phone Died Hours Ago appeared first on The Onion.
80-Year-Old Becomes Oldest Woman To Hike Appalachian Trail
Eighty-year-old Betty Kellenberger, without realizing it, became the oldest person to complete the Appalachian Trail, pushing through injuries and weather challenges to finish the full 2,197-mile hike. What do you think?
The post 80-Year-Old Becomes Oldest Woman To Hike Appalachian Trail appeared first on The Onion.
Over the River Into the ’Hood
The post Over the River Into the ’Hood appeared first on The Onion.
NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally
NEW YORK—Following a series of illicit betting scandals that have sent shock waves through the league, the National Basketball Association issued a statement Monday reaffirming its commitment to gamblers only ruining their lives in ways that are completely legal. “When it comes to gambling, the NBA wants to ensure basketball fans are only blowing up […]
The post NBA Reaffirms Commitment To Gamblers Only Ruining Their Lives Legally appeared first on The Onion.