After years of planning their wedding, the pair were united in marriage within an hour of the bride being legally able to consent.

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SPOKANE, WA—Lamenting that she still hadn’t found the bug-eyed man-child of her dreams, area bachelorette Louise Perkins confirmed Tuesday that she was growing tired of constantly looking for Mr. Bean. “It seems like all my friends are settling down with buffoonish, mishap-prone men, but no matter how many dates I go on, I just can’t […]

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You used to dream of couch-surfing across the world, untethered and unbothered, and now here you are, seriously considering an HOA townhouse. Reference #17806

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A judge in Missouri resigned after wearing an Elvis Presley wig in court, coming after a disciplinary commission determined he failed to maintain order and decorum. What do you think?

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WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump, speaking from the Oval Office […]

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