Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head

WASHINGTON—Amid ongoing concerns over the aging president’s medical status, health speculations reportedly swirled Monday after President Donald Trump was seen with damage numbers above his head. “Recent photos of Trump appear to show him sustaining a series of double- and triple-digit damage values during a press event, fueling rumors that his hit-point pool may be […]

The post Health Speculations Swirl As Trump Seen With Damage Numbers Above Head appeared first on The Onion.

Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax 

SAN FRANCISCO—Citing a right to keep their torsos sheathed in windproof synthetic fabrics, tech billionaires were reportedly threatening to flee California on Monday over a proposed statewide vest tax. “If the legislature passes this measure, you can bet that countless entrepreneurs and venture capitalists are going to pack their bags and move their gilet collections […]

The post Tech Billionaires Threaten To Flee California Over Proposed Vest Tax  appeared first on The Onion.

Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes

The Interior Department announced plans to replace a picturesque image of Glacier National Park on the 2026 “America the Beautiful” pass with President Trump’s face, prompting a lawsuit from an environmental group. What do you think?

The post Images Of National Parks Replaced With Trump’s Face On Annual Passes appeared first on The Onion.

MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map

NEW YORK—In an effort to bring greater transparency to the city’s public transit system, New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority released a statement Monday admitting that large parts of its subway map had been fabricated. “Despite the common belief that the map is an accurate representation of the nation’s largest subway system, it in fact depicts […]

The post MTA Admits To Fabricating Large Parts Of Subway Map appeared first on The Onion.

Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House

AKRON, OH—Using the icon of a sleigh to denote his unmistakable presence near a residence in northeastern Ohio, NORAD’s official tracking app confirmed that Santa Claus paid a visit to his former girlfriend’s house around 3 a.m. Wednesday. “With our state-of-the-art satellite technology, we can see that ol’ St. Nick parked his reindeer on the roof and […]

The post Santa Tracker Shows Sleigh Stopped For 40 Minutes Outside Old Girlfriend’s House appeared first on The Onion.