Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Dad Has Some Choice Words About Hotel Bathroom’s Caulking

HONOLULU—Refusing to pull any punches in his appraisal of the shoddy workmanship, vacationing dad David Stayton reportedly had some choice words about his hotel bathroom’s caulking, family sources confirmed Tuesday. “Jeez Louise, looks like it was somebody’s first time taking the caulking gun for a spin,” said Stayton as he grimly surveyed the “disaster zone” […]

The post Dad Has Some Choice Words About Hotel Bathroom’s Caulking appeared first on The Onion.

Major Power Outage Knocks Out Electricity For Spain, Portugal

A blackout brought much of Spain and Portugal to a standstill, halting subway and railway trains, cutting phone service, and shutting down traffic lights and ATMs for millions of people across the Iberian Peninsula. What do you think?

The post Major Power Outage Knocks Out Electricity For Spain, Portugal appeared first on The Onion.

Elon Musk Creates Federal Employee Revenge Porn Database

The post Elon Musk Creates Federal Employee Revenge Porn Database appeared first on The Onion.

Sleep Experts Suggest Cutting Back On God’s Light Before Bed

ITHACA, NY—In an effort to help Americans get a better night’s rest, sleep experts from Cornell University issued a recommendation Wednesday to cut back on God’s light before bed. “The Lord’s divine grace can put the body into a state of religious excitement, so we typically suggest avoiding His holy light for two hours before […]

The post Sleep Experts Suggest Cutting Back On God’s Light Before Bed appeared first on The Onion.

Anderson Cooper Undergoes Cosmetic Surgery To Look Even More Concerned

The post Anderson Cooper Undergoes Cosmetic Surgery To Look Even More Concerned appeared first on The Onion.