The post Sam Altman: ‘If I Don’t End The World, Someone Far More Dangerous Will’ appeared first on The Onion.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is urging the White House to ditch traditional Easter eggs in favor of decorated potatoes at its annual egg-rolling event, arguing it would benefit both chickens and constituents’ wallets. What do you think?

The post PETA Urges White House To Use Potatoes For Easter Egg Roll appeared first on The Onion.

The post MLB Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Representing Strike Zone appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has a picture of the food they’re eating. “Yay, our plate has lobster, and the bib has lobster right on the front, and now we won’t mess up our shirt,” said 61-year-old […]

The post Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Insisting that such queer stories were too often excluded from period dramas, Bridgerton showrunner Jess Brownell confirmed Wednesday that the show’s next season would feature two women falling in love, breaking up, and then forming a punk band. “Queer people have always existed, but until recently we didn’t highlight their stories on screen in […]

The post New Season Of ‘Bridgerton’ To Feature 2 Women Falling In Love, Breaking Up, Forming Punk Band appeared first on The Onion.