Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

NASA To Build $20 Billion Moon Base

NASA will repurpose components from a scrapped space station to construct a $20 billion ‌base on the moon’s surface over the next seven years, opting to focus on infrastructure that supports sustained operations on the lunar surface. What do you think?

The post NASA To Build $20 Billion Moon Base appeared first on The Onion.

RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’

WASHINGTON—To announce that his decades-long project to revolutionize modern oncology was nearing fruition, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Friday in which he stated that he was only six animal penises away from curing cancer. “After major breakthroughs in obtaining the penises of a manatee, an armadillo, and […]

The post RFK Jr.: ‘I Am 6 Animal Penises Away From Curing Cancer’ appeared first on The Onion.

Norris God

The post Norris God appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Weighs Deploying 340 Million More U.S. Troops To Middle East

The post Trump Weighs Deploying 340 Million More U.S. Troops To Middle East appeared first on The Onion.

Study: Infants Respond To Rustling Of Potato Chip Bag As Early As 3 Weeks

ITASCA, IL—In what researchers are hailing as an incredible breakthrough in the understanding of early childhood development, a study published Friday by the American Academy of Pediatrics concluded that most infants can respond to the rustling of a potato chip bag three weeks after they are born. “Our trials have demonstrated that newborns will startle […]

The post Study: Infants Respond To Rustling Of Potato Chip Bag As Early As 3 Weeks appeared first on The Onion.