Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Trump Signs Executive Order To Create Federal Voting List
President Donald Trump signed an executive order aiming to create federal lists of citizens which the U.S. Postal Service would use to ensure mail ballots are sent to only those people, with the effort to exert control over American elections sure to be quickly challenged in court. What do you think?
The post Trump Signs Executive Order To Create Federal Voting List appeared first on The Onion.
Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll
LOS ANGELES—Admitting that the team’s ballooning salary expenditures had rapidly gotten away from him, panicked Los Angeles Dodgers owner Mark Walter told reporters Thursday that he had absolutely no idea how he was going to come up with the funds needed to cover this year’s $414 million payroll. “What the hell, $414 million? I’m totally […]
The post Panicked Dodgers Owner Has No Idea How He’s Going To Come Up With $414 Million Payroll appeared first on The Onion.
SNAP Now Requiring Recipients To Spend 80 Hours A Month In Hypoglycemic Coma
WASHINGTON—In an effort to clamp down on what it claimed was fraudulent use of federal food benefits, the U.S. Department of Agriculture announced Thursday that applicants to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program would now need to demonstrate that they spend at least 80 hours per month in a hypoglycemic coma. “These requirements ensure the SNAP […]
The post SNAP Now Requiring Recipients To Spend 80 Hours A Month In Hypoglycemic Coma appeared first on The Onion.
Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta
ATLANTA—Forced to call off the approximately $4 billion journey around the moon due to unforeseen delays experienced by its four-member crew, NASA confirmed Thursday that the Artemis II mission failed Thursday after astronauts missed their connecting flight in Atlanta. “We thought we had enough time to stop for a Cinnabon, but before we knew it, […]
The post Artemis II Mission Fails After Astronauts Miss Connection Rocket In Atlanta appeared first on The Onion.
What To Know About ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the film. Q: Does Mario say his famous catchphrase? A: Yes, many times throughout the movie Mario exclaims, “Any dinosaur who likes Mama’s Bolognese sauce is okay by me!” Q: What is the film about? A: The […]
The post What To Know About ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’ appeared first on The Onion.