Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Hibernation-Ready

This warm, cozy home is move-in ready and features a pile of 100,000 acorns gathered by the previous owner. Reference #882011

The post Hibernation-Ready appeared first on The Onion.

ICE Taps BTK Killer To Design New Migrant Detention Center

WASHINGTON—Calling the upcoming collaboration their most “ambitious foray yet into the field of human suffering,” U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials announced Wednesday that they had tapped Dennis Rader, the BTK Killer, to design their latest migrant detention center. In a press release, the Department of Homeland Security praised Rader, who rose to prominence for […]

The post ICE Taps BTK Killer To Design New Migrant Detention Center appeared first on The Onion.

Giving Up Too Much Work

The post Giving Up Too Much Work appeared first on The Onion.

Derek Sanders

Mountain-climbing enthusiast Derek Sanders, 37, tragically fell to his death Friday on the escalator of an REI.

The post Derek Sanders appeared first on The Onion.

Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money

CHICAGO—Reacting with dismay to the immediate positive results yielded by the hair care product, local woman Taylor Suthers confirmed Thursday that the nicer shampoo she had bought was tragically worth the extra money. “Aw, goddammit, my hair really does look softer and smoother,” said Suthers, who appeared visibly distraught as she ran a hand through her […]

The post Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money appeared first on The Onion.