INDIO, CA—Generating mixed reactions from festivalgoers during her headline performance at Coachella, pop star Sabrina Carpenter reportedly turned her body fully inside out Friday in a horrific new position for her song “Juno.” “Have you ever tried this one?” the singer said in an uncharacteristically cold, distorted voice, lowering herself to the stage and contorting […]

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WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday, delivering a big fuck-you to all the Americans who gassed up their vehicles yesterday. “Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the […]

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Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be as specific as possible when describing which Zootopia character you want to look like. Tell your stylist what you want and, more importantly, what you’re willing to do to their family if you don’t get it. […]

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LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current that binds the universe together, Lena Dunham claimed Friday that Adam Driver used the Force on the set of the HBO series Girls. “It can really create a toxic work environment when a coworker you thought was your friend suddenly begins shooting lightning out of […]

The post Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’ appeared first on The Onion.

TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights on politicians. What do you think?

The post TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau appeared first on The Onion.