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The post Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After He Is Swallowed By Sandworm appeared first on The Onion.

A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, caffeine, painkillers, and other substances, with such contaminants increasingly found in tourism-driven marine environments. What do you think?

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The post Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’ appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—In an effort to refute what she described as utterly vile attacks on her character, Melania Trump slammed baseless reports this week that linked her to the wrong wealthy pedophile. “Let me clear: While I have deep ties to a certain affluent individual and secret societies involved in pedophilia, I never once sexually harmed children […]

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