Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time

PHILADELPHIA—Hailing the discovery as a major step forward in the understanding of human psychology, University of Pennsylvania researchers published a study Monday revealing that mourning loved ones is a huge waste of time. “Contrary to past assumptions, our work suggests grieving a lost family member or friend is really just throwing away precious time on […]

The post Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time appeared first on The Onion.

IT Guy Warns Employees Not To Trust Emails He Sends After A Few Drinks

DENVER—Saying strange formatting and grammatical mistakes were a dead giveaway that such messages weren’t to be trusted, local IT specialist Mark Tapley warned employees this week not to trust emails he sends after a few drinks. “Personal security is my priority here, so I’d advise everyone in the office to disregard any emails they receive […]

The post IT Guy Warns Employees Not To Trust Emails He Sends After A Few Drinks appeared first on The Onion.

It Wasn’t Called ‘The 2008 RV Market Crash,’ Was It?

Why risk losing a costly stationary house when this Class C motor home can also transport you away from floods and fires. Reference #023478

The post It Wasn’t Called ‘The 2008 RV Market Crash,’ Was It? appeared first on The Onion.

Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary

Kristi Noem was fired from her post as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security and will be replaced by Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), the embattled Noem’s exit following intense public backlash to her handling of Trump’s immigration crackdown and mishandling of department funds. What do you think?

The post Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary appeared first on The Onion.

Kristi Noem Reassigned To Scarecrow Role At USDA

WASHINGTON—Characterizing her new role in the middle of an Iowa corn field as a better fit for her skill set, the White House announced Friday that former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem had been reassigned as a scarecrow at the USDA. “While she clearly struggled in her prior position, we realized Kristi still had more […]

The post Kristi Noem Reassigned To Scarecrow Role At USDA appeared first on The Onion.