People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is urging the White House to ditch traditional Easter eggs in favor of decorated potatoes at its annual egg-rolling event, arguing it would benefit both chickens and constituents’ wallets. What do you think?

The post PETA Urges White House To Use Potatoes For Easter Egg Roll appeared first on The Onion.

The post MLB Umpires Replaced By Lawn Chair Representing Strike Zone appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has a picture of the food they’re eating. “Yay, our plate has lobster, and the bib has lobster right on the front, and now we won’t mess up our shirt,” said 61-year-old […]

The post Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating appeared first on The Onion.

BURBANK, CA—Citing nearly a billion dollars of pent-up consumer demand for entertainment featuring an infant version of an already beloved character, a new report released Wednesday by Gower Street Analytics concluded that Disney’s decision not to call its upcoming Star Wars film The Baby Yoda Movie would cost the studio roughly $900 million. “By naming the film The Mandalorian And […]

The post Report: Decision Not To Call Film ‘The Baby Yoda Movie’ To Cost Disney $900 Million appeared first on The Onion.

The post Fucker Has Nerve To Be 22 Years Old appeared first on The Onion.