Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Culinary Students Given Live Baby To Learn How To Care For Bag Of Flour

HYDE PARK, NY—Stifling their groans as an instructor distributed the wailing infants, students at the Culinary Institute of America were reportedly given a live baby Friday to learn how to care for a bag of flour. “Flour is the most delicate of the pantry staples, and looking after this child for the week will prepare […]

The post Culinary Students Given Live Baby To Learn How To Care For Bag Of Flour appeared first on The Onion.

Ilhan Omar Sprayed With Liquid At Town Hall

Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) was rushed by a man during a town hall and sprayed with what was revealed to be apple cider vinegar from a syringe, the attack coming amid a broad surge in violence against lawmakers. What do you think?

The post Ilhan Omar Sprayed With Liquid At Town Hall appeared first on The Onion.

Trump’s First Year In Office

The post Trump’s First Year In Office appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Asks Nicki Minaj To Explain Eating Ass

WASHINGTON—Pulling her aside at a Treasury Department event Wednesday, President Donald Trump reportedly asked hip-hop artist Nicki Minaj to explain eating ass. “Explain it to me, in the simplest terms,” said the bewildered 79-year-old president of the United States, who clasped Minaj’s hand and looked her in the eye as he urged her to enlighten him […]

The post Trump Asks Nicki Minaj To Explain Eating Ass appeared first on The Onion.

Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Spotted Wearing Glove Over Head

The post Health Speculations Swirl After Trump Spotted Wearing Glove Over Head appeared first on The Onion.