Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister’s Girlfriend Arrives
KNOXVILLE, TN—In a development her family began referring to as a “stroke of luck,” local 81-year-old Gloria Martin reportedly died Thursday before her granddaughter arrived to Thanksgiving dinner with her girlfriend. “Oh, thank God—problem solved, everybody,” said Frank Martin, grandson of the deceased, who reportedly breathed a sigh of relief along with his cousins, aunts, uncles, […]
The post Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister’s Girlfriend Arrives appeared first on The Onion.
Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago
The post Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago appeared first on The Onion.
America Celebrates Thanksgiving
Across the nation, Americans are gathering with loved ones to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for?
The post America Celebrates Thanksgiving appeared first on The Onion.
Cousins Form Pact To Get Laid By End Of Thanksgiving
The post Cousins Form Pact To Get Laid By End Of Thanksgiving appeared first on The Onion.
Astronaut Hates Long Nightly Spacewalk To ISS Outhouse
LOW EARTH ORBIT—Saying the dreaded nightly ritual had quickly become his least favorite part of his mission, astronaut Dave Barron told reporters Wednesday that he absolutely hated the long, freezing spacewalk required to reach the International Space Station’s outhouse. “God, it’s such a pain. You have to put on the whole suit, depressurize, and then […]
The post Astronaut Hates Long Nightly Spacewalk To ISS Outhouse appeared first on The Onion.