That fucker, aged who the fuck cares, finally kicked the bucket Monday, that prick. After living a no-good waste of a life, family and friends are invited to say good riddance, you sorry piece of shit.

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CLEARWATER, FL—Explaining that his personal health was everything to him, Tom Cruise told reporters Thursday he had purchased a Fitbit to help him get in his 10,000 daily stunts. “Now that I’m getting older, it’s more important than ever to make sure I’m staying active, whether that’s going on a leisurely sprint across a crumbling […]

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Spirited away by carriage under cover of night, the two lovers were wed deep in the forest by an unfrocked priest.

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SAN FRANCISCO—In response to ongoing concerns regarding the safety of its female passengers, rideshare giant Uber reportedly introduced a new feature Wednesday that allows women to request a nonthreatening eunuch driver. “With UberCastrated, female riders can feel more at ease on their way to bars and spin classes knowing their driver doesn’t have testicles,” said […]

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