Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Touts Productive Call With Putin About Ballroom Sconces

WASHINGTON—Acknowledging that he was impressed by the foreign leader’s ability to compromise on all kinds of fixtures, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he had participated in a productive call with Russian President Vladimir Putin about ballroom sconces. “We spoke for several hours and made great progress in negotiating whether I should go with a […]

The post Trump Touts Productive Call With Putin About Ballroom Sconces appeared first on The Onion.

37-Year-Old Still On Parents’ Verizon Plan Saves Credibility By Clarifying He Pays Them $50 A Month

SAN DIEGO—Pausing mid-conversation to shore up any doubts regarding his ability to shoulder adult responsibilities, full-grown 37-year-old man Justin Landry reportedly defended his credibility Friday by clarifying that he paid his parents $50 a month for his portion of their Verizon phone plan. “No, no, no—it would be crazy if I let them pay it […]

The post 37-Year-Old Still On Parents’ Verizon Plan Saves Credibility By Clarifying He Pays Them $50 A Month appeared first on The Onion.

Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security

WASHINGTON—Occasionally pausing to rub his bleeding temple as he delivered the statement, visibly bruised Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth declared Friday that wobbly barstools were a threat to national security. “Our enemies are attempting to destabilize the United States by planting those rickety deathtraps in our nation’s restaurants, breweries, and watering holes, and now they […]

The post Visibly Bruised Pete Hegseth Declares Wobbly Barstools Threat To National Security appeared first on The Onion.

ChatGPT Introduces New AI-Powered Web Browser

OpenAI has launched a new AI-powered web browser for macOS called ChatGPT Atlas, featuring split-screen chat companion and an agent mode to complete tasks. What do you think?

The post ChatGPT Introduces New AI-Powered Web Browser appeared first on The Onion.

Scary Outfit

The post Scary Outfit appeared first on The Onion.