The post ‘We’ll Take It From Here, Boys,’ Says Kash Patel To Confused Minneapolis Mail Carrier appeared first on The Onion.

WASHINGTON—Circulating a new advisory that highlighted what it called the “worst of the worst,” the Department of Homeland Security released a watchlist Friday warning Americans about the presence of mothers driving cars. “Please be on the lookout for the following mothers, who are confirmed to be in possession of dangerous vehicles and should be met […]

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The post JD Vance Claims Renée Good Had No Authority To Be Alive In First Place appeared first on The Onion.

White House deputy chief of staff Stephen Miller has been the force behind many of President Trump’s hard-line policies, including a “zero tolerance” immigration system, the Muslim ban, and, most recently, threats to annex Greenland. The Onion sat down with the “America First” policymaker to discuss his time in the administration. The Onion : How do […]

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WALPOLE, NH—Revealing that the series would force Americans to rethink everything they thought they knew about the “cute little fuzzball,” filmmaker Ken Burns announced Friday the release of Mr. Biscuits, a 10-part documentary about the cat he adopted from a local animal shelter. “For decades, I thought The Civil War would stand as my most […]

The post Ken Burns Announces New 10-Part ‘Mr. Biscuits’ Documentary After Adopting Cat  appeared first on The Onion.