WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday, delivering a big fuck-you to all the Americans who gassed up their vehicles yesterday. “Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the […]

The post Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday appeared first on The Onion.

Getting a haircut you truly love can be a challenge. The Onion shares tips for getting better haircuts. Be as specific as possible when describing which Zootopia character you want to look like. Tell your stylist what you want and, more importantly, what you’re willing to do to their family if you don’t get it. […]

The post Tips For Getting Better Haircuts appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Accusing the actor of abusing the all-powerful Life Current that binds the universe together, Lena Dunham claimed Friday that Adam Driver used the Force on the set of the HBO series Girls. “It can really create a toxic work environment when a coworker you thought was your friend suddenly begins shooting lightning out of […]

The post Lena Dunham Claims Adam Driver Used The Force On Set Of ‘Girls’ appeared first on The Onion.

TMZ, the tabloid news organization known for sensationalized celebrity gossip, has opened a Washington bureau and turned its sights on politicians. What do you think?

The post TMZ Launches D.C. Bureau appeared first on The Onion.

The post Live Nation CEO Sentenced To 10 Years In Online Queue appeared first on The Onion.