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The post White House Doctor: ‘The President Has Very Strong Nipples’ appeared first on The Onion.

After leaving fans waiting for more than four years, Euphoria is back for its third and final season. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the HBO drama. Q: Which members of the cast are returning? A: Willingly, none of them. Q: How many episodes will there be? A: This season will make […]

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ATHENS, GA—Noting that the dead body was “far more handsome” than her deceased brother, local woman Danielle Lundy confirmed the casket she purchased this week still had a stock corpse inside. “I get that they want to sell caskets, but it feels kind of dishonest to put these perfect dead bodies with their ideal facial […]

The post Casket Still Has Stock Corpse In It  appeared first on The Onion.

NEW YORK—In an eight-hour-long video posted Tuesday to the Criterion Collection’s YouTube channel, actor Nick Offerman can be seen paying a visit to the Criterion Closet to rebuild the film library’s shelves. “Don’t tell me you’ve been using particle board in here,” said the 55-year-old woodworker, who frowned, rolled up his sleeves, and began unshelving hundreds […]

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