Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Surgeon General Recommends Adding Cancer Warning To All Nuclear Bombs

The Onion

Black Market Organ Dealer Tired Of Being Asked If He’s Seen ‘Squid Game’

The Onion

Nutritionists Recommend Following Occasional Trail Of Sweets Into Dark Forest To Help Manage Cravings

The Onion

Conservative Outraged Tampons Available In Men’s Grocery Stores

The Onion

Mark David Chapman Decides To Just Go With It After Receiving January 6 Pardon

The Onion

Biden In Critical Condition After Sticking Tongue In Marine One Chopper Blade

The Onion

Better Copulate Than Never

The Onion

Man Groans After Only Thing Left On Bezos Wedding Registry New Rocket Booster

The Onion

Alarming Study Finds Only 1 In 4 Americans Can Get A Motherfuckin’ ‘Hell Yeah’

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Crashes Golf Cart Into Inauguration Stage

The Onion

Confused Trump Autographs Swearing-In Bible Before Handing It Back To Justice Roberts

The Onion

Elon Musk Holds Up AI Girlfriend App So She Can See

The Onion

Trump Boys Take Turns Shouting ‘Penis’ At Inauguration

The Onion

RFK Jr. Attends Inauguration Shirtless

The Onion

Inauguration Begins With Moment Of Silent Gloating

The Onion

Melania Trump Swiping Through Raya Matches In Full View Of Cameras

The Onion

Trump Rolls Onto Capitol Steps In Bulletproof Sphere

The Onion

JD Vance Sworn In On Stack Of Printed 4chan Greentexts

The Onion

Sewage Sludge Used As Fertilizer Poses Health Risks

The Onion

Revelations From Pope Francis’s New Memoir

The Onion