Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

‘Love Story’ Inspires Viewers To Half-Ass Flying Lessons

The Onion

FDA Approves Lettuce That Can Be Remotely Detonated In Event Of Recall

The Onion

Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face

The Onion

Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass

The Onion

42-Year-Old Woman Refers To Herself As ‘Preggerz’

The Onion

White House IT Guy Sends Out Reminder Memo About Child Porn 

The Onion

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job

The Onion

Robert Mueller Dead At 81

The Onion

ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

The Onion

Mom, Dad Disagree About How Dad Likes Eggs

The Onion

Cameraman Sitting Under Basket Spread-Eagle

The Onion

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel

The Onion

Audience Aghast As Haggard Hannah Montana Confronts Miley Cyrus Onstage

The Onion

Chappell Roan Makes Amends By Kidnapping 11-Year-Old Fan

The Onion

Trump Demands Allies Do Their Fair Share To Fuck Up The World

The Onion

Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich 

The Onion

Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin

The Onion

Live Possum Found Hiding Among Gift Shop Plush Animal Toys

The Onion

FDA Withdraws Proposed Rule Barring Minors From Using Tanning Beds

The Onion

Trump Wakes From Beautiful Dream Kissing Underage Girl To Find Face Being Licked By St. Bernard

The Onion