Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania

The Onion

Tina Webb

The Onion

Report: It Probably Fine That 5-Year-Old Just Whizzed By On Lyft Scooter

The Onion

Fiona Blythewood and Dexter Van Horne

The Onion

What Are Our Dietary Restrictions?

The Onion

Man Returning From Near-Death Experience Recalls Angels Making Him Sign NDA

The Onion

Texas Doctor Tapes Pregnancy Pamphlet To Comatose Woman’s Forehead

The Onion

Allergic Swelling Leaves Kristi Noem’s Face Completely Recognizable

The Onion

Tourist Damages Museum’s Crystal-Covered Chair By Sitting On It

The Onion

Physicists Discover Never-Before-Seen Particle In Back Of Old Cupboard

The Onion

Malin Rourke

The Onion

Passengers At Gate Saddened By Poor Frightened Plane Loose Inside Airport

The Onion

Yours, In Exchange For One Night With Your Wife

The Onion

Trump Organization Launches Trump Mobile Cell Phone Service

The Onion

Mom Would Rather Kids Host Freak-Off In Own Basement Instead Of Some Rapper’s House

The Onion

Mike Lee Stresses He Would Have Posted Same Thing If Own Family Savagely Murdered

The Onion

Salami Brandished

The Onion

Gunman Takes Huge Swing   Ordering Hostages Buffalo Chicken Pizza

The Onion

You Sure You’re In The Mood For Another Wes Anderson Film With Everything That’s Going On?

The Onion

Molly Hall and David Kerry

The Onion