Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Pros And Cons Of Banning Fireworks

The Onion

New ‘The Bear’ Season Features Mutant Carmy Terrorizing Chicago After Falling Into Vat Of Beef Juice

The Onion

Report: It Will Never Feel Right Seeing Dad In Backseat Of Car 

The Onion

RFK Jr.: Vaccines No More Effective Than Drinking Horseshoe Crab Blood Straight

The Onion

Civil War Reenactor Reminded This Not His Personal Fife Recital

The Onion

Cobra Kai Actor Accused Of Biting Co-Star

The Onion

Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait

The Onion

Diddy Lawyer Tosses Jury Cîroc Swag During Closing Statement  

The Onion

What To Know About ‘Love Island USA’

The Onion

Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One

The Onion

Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite

The Onion

Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building

The Onion

Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbers

The Onion

Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him

The Onion

Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle 

The Onion

Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony

The Onion

Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water

The Onion

Improperly Dressed Applebee’s Diner Provided Loaner Stained Hoodie

The Onion

Telegram CEO To Leave Fortune To Over 100 Children He Fathered

The Onion

FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System

The Onion