Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony

The Onion

Improperly Dressed Applebee’s Diner Provided Loaner Stained Hoodie

The Onion

Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water

The Onion

Telegram CEO To Leave Fortune To Over 100 Children He Fathered

The Onion

FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System

The Onion

Trump Assures Nation Uncommonly Violent Ceasefire In Effect

The Onion

Taylor Swift Wakes Up From Nightmare Where Travis Kelce Wins Oscar Before Her

The Onion

Shroom for Improvement

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Wondering Whether Uranium Would Be A Good Mixer

The Onion

Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers

The Onion

Why I’m Sending Issues of ‘The Onion’ To Every Member Of Congress

The Onion

Elderly Man Gets Stuck After Driving Down Rome’s Spanish Steps

The Onion

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Get 400% Increase

The Onion

Timeline Of Timothée Chalamet And Kylie Jenner’s Relationship

The Onion

Entitled Child Expects To Eat Lunch Every Day

The Onion

Congress Passes Blank Bill For Trump To Write Whatever Law He Wants

The Onion

Christian Faith An Important Part Of Who Senator Pretends To Be

The Onion

Sabrina Carpenter Undergoes State-Mandated Lobotomy To Cure Nymphomania

The Onion

Tina Webb

The Onion

Fiona Blythewood and Dexter Van Horne

The Onion