Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Hot Young Priests Soaked In Holy Water During Vatican’s Annual Wet Vestment Contest

The Onion

U.K. Passes Lifetime Smoking Ban For People Born After 2008

The Onion

Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’

The Onion

‘7 Days,’ Hisses Little Girl On Phone Call Welcoming Draft Pick To Jets

The Onion

RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger

The Onion

Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself

The Onion

What To Know About Tariff Refunds

The Onion

Trump Conducts Marathon Reading Of Arby’s Menu In Appeal To Meat Lovers

The Onion

Study Finds Gen Z Drinking Fewer Flagons Of Mead Than Medieval Generations

The Onion

Grindr To Host White House Correspondents Dinner Party

The Onion

Humanoid Robot Beats Human Half-Marathon Record

The Onion

Nicholas Geary

The Onion

Regretful Conservative Wakes Up To Find He Drunkenly Got Nazi Tattoo Removed

The Onion

Disney Promises ‘Star Wars’ Fans A New Era Of Blind Stabs At What They Seemed To Like Before

The Onion

Mysterious Gerbil Watches From Edge Of Yard As Family Hamster Laid To Rest

The Onion

Trump Posts Late-Night Truth Social Rant Claiming Circuses Not Violent Enough

The Onion

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

The Onion

Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO

The Onion

Rancor Baby

The Onion

‘Michael’ Criticized For Depicting Neverland Ranch With Cooler Rides Than It Actually Had

The Onion