Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Raccoon With Meth Pipe Found In Driver’s Seat Of Car

The Onion

Study: Most Millennials Will Never Own Swanky Undersea Apartment Where Fish Swim Past Windows

The Onion

Elon Musk Pushes Child Aside On Way To Escape Pods As Starbase Collapses

The Onion

Cardinal Passed Over For Pope Devoted Life To God For Nothing

The Onion

Dad Impressed By How Easily New Lawn Mower Tore Through Son’s Leg

The Onion

2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon

The Onion

Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope

The Onion

God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle

The Onion

Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’

The Onion

Nervous Man Introduces Date To His Hives

The Onion

Archaeologists Uncover Embarrassing Egyptian Rockabilly Dynasty

The Onion

Trump Offers Undocumented Immigrants $1,000 To Leave Country

The Onion

Trump Orders Reopening Of Alcatraz

The Onion

Sin’N’Out

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Trump Absent-Mindedly Snacks On Constitution

The Onion

National Endowment For The Arts Lays Off 30,000 Muses

The Onion

Teacher Can Tell Child With Spiky Hair, Sunglasses Comes From A Rad Home

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Trump Decries Lack Of U.S.-Made Products Lodged In American Rectums

The Onion

Sun-Maid Announces Girl In Logo Has Always Been Sentient Raisin Disguising Self In Human Flesh

The Onion

U.S. Offers Semiconductors To China In Exchange For Holographic Charizard

The Onion