Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

What to Know Before Going to Lollapalooza

The Onion

CDC Recommends Eating A Nice Crisp Shiny Apple Instead Of Having Unprotected Sex

The Onion

Pedro Pascal: Ooooh Wanna Kiss Kiss Kiss! Mwah Mwah! Smoochie Smoochie!

The Onion

Study Finds It Possible To Die From Broken Heart 

The Onion

Big Lots Closes All Stores After Therapist Helps Company Work Through Hoarding Tendencies

The Onion

Trump Examined By Doctor After Acknowledging Existence Of Suffering

The Onion

Study Finds Refreshingly Low Amount Of Shovel Violence

The Onion

‘Quishing’ QR Code Scams Dupe Millions

The Onion

Mavericks GM Trades Away All Of Team’s Basketballs

The Onion

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles 

The Onion

Trump Body Double Struggling To Get Leg Edema Just Right

The Onion

Moment Of Silence Followed By Hot Dog Race

The Onion

Hulk Hogan’s Spasming Cadaver Body-Slams Mortician

The Onion

Trump Gives Russia 10-Day Deadline To End Ukraine

The Onion

Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom Awkwardly Pretend Not To See Each Other While Out Naked Paddleboarding

The Onion

Man Runs Fake Embassy While Posing As Ambassador

The Onion

Tips For Surviving A Rip Current

The Onion

Dunkin’ Announces They No Longer Have Heart To Charge People For Such Depressing Meals

The Onion

Tinder Update Classifies Female Age Input Over 35 As System Error

The Onion

Hulk Hogan Dead At 71

The Onion