Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Meryl Streep Makes Breakfast In Jiminy Glick Suit

The Onion

Trump Rushed To Walter Reed To Watch Breast Exam

The Onion

Alan Dershowitz Sues Farmers Market Vendor For Refusing To Sell Him Child

The Onion

Tarantulas Overcome Southwest During Mating Season

The Onion

Couple Welcomes Baby Born From 31-Year-Old Embryo

The Onion

What To Know About The Tea App

The Onion

Restless Billionaire Regrets Having Infusion Of Child’s Blood After 4 P.M.

The Onion

Bachelorette Party Bankrupts 4 Of Bride’s Fave Girlies

The Onion

Panicking NBC Realizes They Left Cris Collinsworth In Broadcast Booth All Offseason

The Onion

RFK Jr. Recommends Eating Good Cancer To Kill The Bad Cancer

The Onion

New Death With Indignity Law Lets Terminally Ill Be Crushed By Falling Vending Machines

The Onion

Biggest Revelations From The New Gwyneth Paltrow Biography

The Onion

Trump Readjusts Golf Tee In JD Vance’s Mouth

The Onion

Flour Sack Still Dealing With Trauma Of Being Raised By Single Teenage Mother

The Onion

Warm, Encouraging Email From CEO Quickly Identified As Phishing Attempt

The Onion

Radioactive Wasp Nest Discovered Near Nuclear Waste Storage Site

The Onion

Fox News Decries Woke Casting Of Indian Man As Star Of ‘Sankranthiki Vasthunam’

The Onion

Mental Health Experts Advise Struggling Americans To Try Crying About It Like Little Baby 

The Onion

Watchdog Group Downgrades U.S. From Democracy To Whatever Political System Lobsters Have

The Onion

Top Reasons For Leaving Summer Camp Early

The Onion